(via mikeyymikes)

cruiseorbecruised:

weeklyspectator:

“I Miss My Pre-Internet Brain” - Douglas Coupland

I relate 100%

(via azelie)

(via azelie)

whatsthetalenightingale:

Elvis in Color

(via very-fancy-detective)

cranquis:

orangushamstursaurus:

cranquis:

Say something to a patient, realize that it sounds kind of funny.

Well, I think you should start keeping a diary of your bowel movements to help your doctor figure out whether you are truly lactose-intolerant. You could call it a diarrhea diary - ha!

Think about it for a few seconds after the patient leaves, realize there was a better pun I could have used, feel regret.

Aw man, I should’ve said: “You could call it a dietary diarrhea diary.” Dangit.

That evening, mention it to Mrs. Cranquis over dinner (she has a very strong stomach, thankfully), elicit polite chuckle. Think about it while watching Baby Cranquis in the bath-tub before bed.

Well DUH, I should’ve said it would be a “Dietary Dairy Diarrhea Diary.” I should tell Mrs. Cranquis… uh, never mind.

Dream fitfully about words that start with the “Di” syllable. Next morning, in shower, find myself mumbling.

I wonder if she’s diabetic? Or maybe her diarrhea is caused by food dye?

By that evening, feel like I’m going insane just trying to keep track of the bloated construction.

Ok, so if she is also into Scientology, is losing fluid weight from the watery bowel movements and associated sweating, and only has diarrhea in the daytime, it would be “A Diaphoretic Dianetic Diabetic’s Dietary Dairy and Dye Diuresing Diarrhea Diurnal Diary.”

I think I’m gonna need a sedative just to go to sleep tonight. This is just diabolical.  :S

Hahahahahahaha, cranquis, you sound exactly like me when I should be revising :P My mind thinks of the strangest things…

(I’ve read this over like 5 times and I’m STILL laughing like a maniac)

I am not ashamed of this. :)

whorville:

the-walkers-arent-dead:

whorville:

I love how in French you don’t really say eighty. You say quatre-vingts. Which means 4 20s.

Blaze it

two kinds of people

I am the only one involved in this post

(via fluxedcapacitor)

mrbeautie:

Celebrate Earth Day with this dapper bow tie from Beau Tie Ltd. of Vermont, $40.

Look Dapper and Save the Planet…Yes please!

(via azelie)

(via very-fancy-detective)